She's home. There were no tearful hugs goodbye, It was more like a C-YA. I felt like I was about to ride on a big roller coaster, scared and excited all at the same time. Luckily I have the best partner in the world. Scott has been amazing. He has been able to retain all that's been told to us by the Doctors, he's helped work on a Meds/feed/pump schedule for me and through it all he has been calm. I admit i kinda lost it the first night, not the curl up in the fetal position lose it, more like the stare out the window and cry kind. But he has been a rock, my rock. So the first couple of days? I would say it's been the hardest thing I have done......ever. But before you give me the positive "you can do it Ruth speech", I know this is the first couple of days and eventually this will become "my" normal, I know this.