Monday, December 13, 2010

I'm faking it

Do you watch Modern family? I love it. I just watched the last episode and Phil, the funny dad of 3, was talking about the circle of life and how your parents faked their way through parenthood and then how you fake your way through it and that hopefully you don't raise a serial killer. This had me laughing, cuz I AM faking it. Especially tonight. I have one child who complains about e v e r y t h i n g I make for dinner. Really, his pickyness is over the top. I have A three year old who has to be stapled to his chair to eat and is still currently in said chair 30 minutes after dinner. He will not open up his mouth for one bite. He is currently yelling at me, please get me out, I'm busy..very busy mama. What is going ON! I need to watch TV. I have a baby girl, covered in snot(she is sick again), crying in her bed and a boy in the tub making various fart noises. At least one is bathed, right?
I think we(society) have raised the bar to high when it comes to parenthood. There is a lot of pressure to have perfect kids who are polite and only nutritious dinners. Then the pressure to be an uber mom who does fun crafts and outings while juggling homework, sports, church and a clean house. I am not even gonna throw a special needs child on the list. Just the basics are hard enough. So thanks to Phil, I am on the - as long as my child is not a serial killer- plan. My bar has been lowered. The pressure is off. Who's with me?

53 comments:

Jessica said...

too funny! We watch that show over here too. Its a riot! I have a little girl, she eats waffels and bananas. THATS IT. lol =)

The {G} Family said...

Me! I laughed at that too. Hard. And it's totally true. Here's to faking it!

Corrie said...

I love that show too and I'm hearing you! today my kids had breakfast at 10.40am, were still in their pjs, I haven't touched the laundry today and now its nearly 3pm and I should be thinking about dinner! I do have an 8 week old bub though so will be using that excuse for a while!

you're doing a great job! my 2 yo picky eater loves ravioli with grated cheese on top, its the only meal she'll really eat and eats 3 bowls of it!

corrie:)

BriBedell said...

I just found out I am pregnant with our 3rd baby. My fisrt has yet to poop on the toilet. I am with you. Stop telling me when my kids should be doing this and how your kid has already done that! Let me handle my own life and I hope I don't turn in to a serial killer first! LOL Loved this post!

The DeVito's said...

I'm so with you! I think the bar is set too high for women in general!

Katherine DeMartini Barrus said...

Me! Me! I'm totally, completely with you. Lower your expectations.

Cannon's said...

I'm with you! I remember seeing a show where the characters call their mother Bizzy because, well, she's always too busy. I cringed at that thought and vowed never to be that way yet I'm creeping ever so closely to being Bizzy myself.

So here's to lowering the bar!

Jessica Crozier said...

Totally agree…tonight my kids had chicken nuggets with Ranch and/or ketchup. I did throw in some broccoli, but still. The bar is raised very high. Lots of times I think about how it was done in the "olden days". Like '50's, where all the moms made dinner every night in their really pretty dresses and heals. How were they NOT on xanax? Seriously!

Georgia said...

Lower that bar....and the join the rest of us who already have. Life is so much easier when we know that we don't have to be like the Clevers.

P.S. Modern Family is absolutely the best show on TV (besides Yo Gabba Gabba)!!!!

Kim said...

Here, here!!! Let the good Moms unite!!
And I have an eleven year old picky eater. I have good mind to stop offering cold cereal as the alternate dinner. Her pickins are getting slimmer as the days go bv.
And there is comfort to be found over here:
http://diapersanddivinity.com/2010/11/16/a-womans-work-is-never-done/#comments

Kim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

I'm laughing, 'cause I just went out and bought Burger King for the kids and the parents and am currently feeding the infant as I type... Yeah, I'm all for ease when I have no energy to make food. As long as the tummy is full (and NOT full of candy! lol) Poor Davy with being sick... I hope she gets better soon (for your sake and hers) And I think you are raising great boys and a lovely daughter... the right way... which is Your way and our Heavenly Fathers way.

Kim said...

And here is another good read:
http://becominglds.blogspot.com/2010/11/cluttered.html
It seems like everyone has caught the "feeling overwhelmed" bug and I so happy we can laugh at ourselves and help each other feel normal.
Thanks for posting this.
With many messes in Maine,
Kim

Duh Despains said...

Sounds like the perfect height bar to me!

Brynn said...

I'm so with you! I LOVE Modern Family. Definately my fave show right now. My 3 year old takes about an hour to eat dinner too, and that's with me prying her mouth open and shoving food in. Exhausting.

Kate and Brooks said...

ME! I agree whole heartedly. I've never watched Modern Family, I've heard it's fantastic and I think you've convinced me to give it try. I'm sure I'll love it! I'm just glad to read from another mom who admits that it's not "perfect". LOVE you're blog, it's real and it's honest.

Tara said...

I am over from Cjane.

I hear you!!!! I loved that line from Modern Family. My three year old thinks she can survive on milk sippy cups and removes her panties so that she can put on pull ups to poop - refuses to do it in the toilet.

Thanks for being realistic! We're here with you! Hooray for doing the best we can!

The McCullough Crew said...

You don't know how much a needed to read this today! The kids are going crazy, won't sleep, Mikey is crazy hyper and hits everyone (especially Travis). I asked Joey what I was doing wrong and he just looked at me and said I don't know I have no clue what I'm doing either.

If only more women (parents) were honest I think there would be a lot more unbathed kids and happier mommys!!!

Carrie Anne said...

i SOOOOOO hear you! love modern family...i but a gut every time i watch!!! you're doing awesome, friend...keep it up.

scrappinmominky said...

I agree totally!!!! LOl I have 7 kids and as long as they are reasonably clean and have been offered good food I feel I've accomplished a lot. Here's to lowering the bar!!

I found your blog through CJane. I look forward to reading all your posts. You have a lot on your plate but seem to be managing very well.


scrappinmominky@blogspot.com

Melinda said...

I am ALL FOR IT!! Sign me up for the "no serial killer" parenting class especially because my son is totally up in there air on that one. :)

Damaris @Kitchen Corners said...

I loved that episode. I agree with you and Phil 100%

Rudyricks said...

OH THANK YOU!!!! I loved this very real, very well put post!

Aaron said...

Who's with you?

My parents

Caitlin said...

I feel like I just read the scenario from my house, except I only have 2 kids! Totally with you on this. It's hard to let go of that image though!

Leisha said...

I am totally faking it! In fact, I seriously doubt that I know anyone who is not! (and for those who think they aren't, just wait, you will be sooner or later!)

Danna and Kirk said...

I hear ya! To be honest though, I think that most other people are faking it too, they just don't want everyone to know :) Sorry to hear that Davy is sick!

Tony and Whitney said...

Thank you! That is just what I needed to hear today. I only have one little man, but I'm also a working mom, so I'm trying to do everything. Thanks for this!

Christa said...

I only have two kids and I totally get you. I live in Phoenix, where its about as hot as the surface of the sun and when my first was an infant, I was terrified of doing something stupid while getting him into the car after going to the store. Do I leave him in the cart while I put the groceries in the car or do it the other way around? What about my purse? Can I leave him in the car (with it turned on to cool) down long enough to return the cart? I was convinced I would lock him in the car, leave my purse in the cart or some equally kuckleheadded thing. My only goal for every outing was to not end up on the 5 o'clock news!

Beth said...

This post is awesome! You describe your sweet little family perfectly.

I love that Harper is yelling he is too busy to eat his dinner...I am glad you have a chair where he can be stapled in or I would never get him to eat whan I babysit.

Poor Davy...she has been sick more often then not these days.

MindySue said...

I'm so with you!!

Megan said...

well said!
very similar scenarios around here every single night...
oh well. we can laugh about it and eat chocolate:)

Melany said...

haha loved this post. i only have lil' penny and i know exactly what you mean. love modern family too!

The Baum Squad said...

me. i'm with you. especially this time of year. So glad Cjane could introduce us. Love reading your blog and watching davy grow. i think you are doing a great job.

Ellen said...

Delurking to say I am with you and hang in there. I told my boys today that I wanted patient and appreciative kids for Christmas. Then I had to tell my students the same thing. Phew

desert dispatches said...

I've been on this plan for a long time, and it's good to read others are, too. I am all for truth in family blogging! Thanks for sharing!

Paula said...

Love it. Here's to faking it!!! And hey, at least you have one bathed child. I couldn't even do that today! What I have come to realize that us "fakers" are more true then those "uber" moms--I think they feel the way we do, they just can't be honest!!

Moozoo said...

I have been silently following your blog for awhile. I think you are doing an awesome job with your little family. I'm on the tail end of mine. My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 17 (with 3 more between them). I have always said that this is Parenting 101 for the Eternities. Heaven help my kids in the Eternities.

Jill Whyde Gibson said...

Wait? Why stop at not wanting to them to be serial killers. I really like the serial killer on Dexter and if my kid turned out to be like him, I'd be able to deal with that. I mean if I do raise a serial killer, I want him/her to be a nice serial killer.

Kristi said...

i've never watched the show but i love this post. i'm with you! awesome.

Alecia said...

Amen, amen! I'm with you!

kimmomofnine said...

I absolutely LOVE that you wrote this. I have nine kids and hate that people call me "supermom" to my face. Not! I need to stop beating myself up about all the stuff I can't do and celebrate what I can do. Heck, when I was a kid parents didn't do nearly all the stuff for/with their kids that people seem to strive for now. It's exhausting.

Consider my bar lowered!

tharker said...

So with you!

I love Phil Dunphy!

Heather said...

I'm with you!! I have a very picky 13 year old daughter who won't eat much of anything but has managed to add fish (think fish & chips) to her diet. She is convinced she does better on tests when she has fish the night before so....she has finals tomorrow so....she has finals tomorrow so I fixed fish & chips. Little brother, who usually eats anything declared them bland and only ate the chips part. Whatever. Dad's out of town, I work a full time job as a Para working with special needs kids in a middle school and at this point I'm done. They may not have had the best dinners this week but nobody went hungry. :)

Klove said...

I'm so there! I swear I would send my three year old to Boarding preschool if I could...the worst age!
Hang in there.
XOXO

Leslie said...

you just described my life minus the special needs baby. life is insane, but awesome! we're gonna get through this time and miss it someday. that's what lots of old ladies tell me anyway. love ya. hang in there. i'm pretty sure lots of blessings are coming your way.

{Erica} said...

Put me down for that plan as well.

Alli Easley said...

Totally with you Ruth. Your comment on my FB note the other day goes for you too..."You Can Do This!" We can do this.

Oh and who cares about a clean house. Let's just snuggle our picky eaters and snotty babies instead. Yes?

Gretchy Girl said...

I'm so there with you! I have 3 boys that keep me hopping! I work full-time and have a part-time job too, in addition to being a mom. I work with teens and their parents and one thing I always try to tell them is to let go of their expectations.

I'm a big fan of freezer meals...you know those lean cuisines? they go from freezer to microwave to table in less than 4 minutes! It is grand and everyone can have what they want! Beautiful time we live in!

We are avid Modern Family fans here too!

Angie said...

I am so glad to here that no one elses three year old will stay in their chair either. My parenting motto for years has been, "At least I'm not a crack ho." And by that standard I am doing pretty, darn well.

Christy said...

Love the post! You may be faking it, like the rest of us, but you are an amazing Mom. That is obvious!

Andrea said...

Ruth, you don't know how much this post cheered me up. I think the "blogosphere" really heaps on the pressure of making sure everything with your kids is DIY and p.s. look fantastic while doing it. You are telling it like it really is and I will too: sometimes my kid eats ramen in front of the tv while I check facebook. Right now I am pregnant, have a roaring eye infection (probably from disgusting two year old germs), have a cold and my lymphnode is infected so ramen in front of the tv is as good as it gets. I really respect you as a mother because your love for your children is so evident so thanks for keepin it real!

Christi said...

Love this post and couldn't agree more. I am new to reading your blog and will be backI love modern family and especially that quote.